


The Tragedy Of Farkle Minkus

by ladyofdecember



Series: You're The Fire And The Flood [8]
Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:24:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6504364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyofdecember/pseuds/ladyofdecember
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Farkle struggles every day with his life in general and the fact that his friends seem to be drifting away from him doesn't make it any easier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tragedy Of Farkle Minkus

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to write a bit more about Farkle using my headcanons for the character because I really like them. I've it in my head that Farkle is in fact, autistic, and had kept it a secret from everyone in school, including his friends. I also feel like Farkle suffers from a few maladies such as depression and severe anxiety. Don't ask me why, it's just this really strong headcanon I have of him. Anyway, I tried to have that come across with this as best as I could. This is of course, a continuation of the series of one shots I've been doing just because I needed to write something new for Lucas and Farkle.

He's sitting there, he's sitting there and listening to Mr. Matthews as he teaches class, in the middle of everyone, and no one notices him. He sits quietly, hands folded, one over the other as he stares blankly ahead. The older man's voice soon fades away leaving just the humming of the air conditioner coming from directly above his head in the ceiling.

Lucas is paying attention. He's actually taking notes! Don't look at him. Don't bother, he's not paying attention to you anyway.

Maya is listening as well, as best as she can. Riley, as always, is very enthused and tuned in to her father's lesson, even participating with the conversation.

And Farkle is... he's just sitting there quietly. No one notices.

He glances at the clock on the wall and watches as the second hand ticks by. He bites his lip in worry. The stress is getting to him. It's too much to bear. But it's not like he'd ever say anything.

Shifting in the seat slightly, his desk moves and makes a creaking sound. Mr. Matthew's eyes flick towards him for a second but he continues on with his lecture as though nothing was wrong.

Lucas' eyes are still glued to his paper as he scribbles down notes. Zay sits behind him quietly listening.

Feeling like his throat is raw and irritated, he struggles to swallow, trying to get some sort of saliva to coat his dry mouth. He licks his lips and suddenly the compulsion is there and he can't fight it anymore. He shifts in his seat again, again bumping the desk so it makes a loud creaking noise on the floor.

This time Maya glances back at him questioningly but he just frowns and ignores her stare. He tries to pay attention to Mr. Matthews who is now at the board writing something down. His mind wanders again, back to his situation. He considers getting up to go get a drink of water but immediately dismisses it. He can't, he won't let people stare at him more. He's a distraction already.

His foot begins to tap idly and then increasing more and more in speed until he doesn't even notice that a lot of the class has turned to look at him, including Mr. Matthews.

“Farkle?” The man asks, a look of concern pinched on his face. “Everything alright?”

He blinks at him, suddenly realizing the noise he'd been making. “Uh... yes. Sorry.”

He nods and then turns back to his lesson. Riley, having turned around with Maya, faces the front of the room again. All eyes are back on Mr. Matthews. Lucas' eyes never strayed from his paper, that he could tell.

Feeling an enormous sigh threatening to erupt from him, he swallows it down, deep dark and down inside of his chest so that it may be squashed from ever resurfacing. 

His eyes flicker back up to the clock on the way and the alarming way the second hand seems to have slowed down. Time is taking forever. His skin is itchy and he can't stand it.

He swallows again, helpless to fix his dry and parched mouth. He rubs at his eyes in a struggle to pay attention. He tries to blink away the thoughts that struggle to pull him away from the lesson once more. He has to pay attention.

He smells the cologne next to him and feels immediately lost in a sea of thought of the basketball player. His heart swells and almost immediately sinks with the loss of the friend he'd once had.

Things weren't the same anymore. Things were different now. Feelings out in the open had caused a volcano-like eruption of the four of them. 

No, Lucas belonged to them now. He would be forever torn between the two, agonizing over which he loved more. Farkle tried not to acknowledge the jealousy that flared up in his heart.

Side eyeing the boy again, he noticed him still ignoring him and hard at work focusing on the paper in front of him. Taking liberty in soaking in the image of him, everything, the hair, the face, the body, all of it, he mused that it was too much perfection for just one person to have.

Staring back down at his folded hands in front of him, he focused on his breathing but soon struggled to even exhale normally. Getting lost in some sort of crazy rhythm, he sputtered and gasped a bit. Forcing himself to calm down and settle his rapidly beating heart, Farkle closed his eyes in resignation.

Life was hell nowadays. What kind of life was this?

The alternative however, was most unpleasant. He forcibly turned his thoughts away from the dark path. He wasn't that person.

If this was his life now then he'd deal with it. He wouldn't be a coward. He'd be the scientist he always was and he'd deal with things as rationally as possible. If he was to live a life alone, he'd find some way to make the best of it.

The best friend he'd known would soon be drifting further apart from him once they entered high school. He'd always known this to be fact. It was just happening sooner than later, that's all. The girls, whom he loved, had already drifted away from him and had in fact, at the start of the last year. He'd accepted as much.

This was his life now, that much was certain. He'd just have to deal.

Just as Farkle felt himself beginning to drift off into sleep, he felt a light tapping on his shoulder. He feared the worst and assumed Mr. Matthews had noticed him.

But as he opened his eyes, he noticed the man at the front of the class still looking over some papers as everyone else was busy scribbling down something. He turned in his chair to face Lucas, his one time best friend.

He was smiling at him, albeit only slightly. There was something else pulling at his face, another expression. Was it... worry?

Farkle's eyes trailed down to the boy's hand as he handled him a folded up sheet of paper. Clearly a note.

He moved to tap Riley on the shoulder but Lucas quickly stopped him.

“No! It's... for you.” Lucas whispered quickly as quietly as he could. Maya seemed to still hear though and glanced back for a second.

Puzzled, Farkle unfolded the note, keeping a weather eye out for Riley's father but he was busy now sitting down at his desk, looking over papers.

Lucas looked pleased that he was reading his note and Farkle furrowed his brow in confusion before reading.

“Farkle, I don't know how to write this so I'm just gonna write what I think out on to this paper and please just don't judge me or my spelling. I can't say this to you out loud so I'm gonna write it all down. I really want to tell you how much I respect you and I know things can be hard for you and I know you don't want to talk about it at all. I get it. Maybe this is the best way we can talk about it.”

Farkle blinked rapidly down at the paper before glancing at the cowboy in shock. He must have noticed the look because he immediately turned away with a look of... shame? Or was it guilt?

Farkle turned back to the paper, continuing to the next paragraph. He'd filled the entire page!

“I want you to know that you're my best friend. You are. My single, most important friend. I don't know if you get that because you never seem to when I say it to your face. But you are. Your happiness is important to me and I know lately we haven't been hanging out. I know we haven't seen each other. I was dealing with a lot. I was trying to figure out my feelings.”

A quiet sigh escaped his mouth. Here we go, more of the feelings talk with him and Riley and Maya. He'd heard enough of it all. He really didn't want to be involved anymore in any of it.

“What I figured out is that of course, I love and care about Maya and Riley. I do love both of them. Because of course I do. But what else I figured out is something I've been struggling to say to you. I didn't know how. I still don't. This is my best effort. I really hope this doesn't drive us any further apart because if it did I don't know what I'd do. I know we've drifted apart and it kills me. It's been awful.”

Farkle's eyebrows pinched in concern. What was he even talking about? He actually cared that they hadn't been hanging out? He glanced at Lucas again but the boy was fervently concentrating on the assignment Mr. Matthews had written on the board and completely ignoring Farkle now. Interesting.

Mr. Matthews chose that moment to actually look up from his work and glance over the class. His eyes met Farkle's and he smiled. “Farkle, have a question?”

He quickly swallowed, attempting to hide his sudden nervousness and anxiety and shook his head. “No, sir, just thinking!”

That seemed to be enough for him as he nodded, smiled and went back to his own work at his desk.

Farkle let his eyes move back down to Lucas' note in interest as he continued reading down to the bottom of the page.

“Anyway, I guess I will just write this note to you and then let that be that. I can't say this to you. I don't know how to. I hope you don't hate me. But if you do it's okay. I get it.

All I wanted to tell you is that I want you to be happy. I know you're not. I want to help you be happy if I can. I just want”

Farkle noticed the last three words were scribbled out hastily and messily. His eyes dropped down to the next line.

“Farkle, I like you a lot, I think I might even have stronger feelings than that. I don't want Maya, I don't want Riley, I just want you. I like you and I think that we should date. We should go on a date that is. Together. I would like to date you. As in a date.”

Again, the last four words were messily scribbled out, much to Farkle's amusement. For the first time in what felt like months, the boy felt a smile cross his face. He quietly chuckled, gaining the sudden attention of the cowboy next to him.

“Will you please go out with me and make me the happiest boy in the class?”

Farkle read and reread the last line on the page over an over incredulously. This was what he had been working on so hard all through class?

He glanced over at Lucas, who was beat red and nervous as all get out. He chuckled again, unable to contain himself at the cuteness of the situation. Lucas beamed at him and they shared a momentary look between them before Mr. Matthews cleared his throat.

“Uh... guys? It's a private assignment, you know.”

But that was all that was said, he quickly went back to his own work, clearly trusting his students not to cheat. Farkle smiled shyly at Lucas who smiled back.

Turning to the paper wordlessly, he jotted down a few quick words at the very bottom and passed the boy the paper.

As Lucas unfolded it to read, his smile lit up his face.

“I thought you'd never ask.”


End file.
